Hasn't Facebook quenched the need for us all to get together again just so we can see who is now fat, divorced, bald, or broke? Do we even need high school reunions anymore? Do we really want to have an awkward conversation about the stock market with the guy we repeatedly turned down for a date sixteen years ago? Why dedicate a whole evening of our lives to chatting about bathroom habits of three year olds with a girl we used to be friends with- before she stole our boyfriend Senior year? Is it really necessary to repeat, 45 times, where we work, who we married, and how many children we have? It seems even less necessary to ask those same questions, 45 times, when truthfully we don't care to hear the answers.
If we were still friends I would care about your marriage troubles, your trip to Disney last summer, and the 63 pictures of Junior on your cell phone. But we aren't friends anymore, in fact we never were, which would explain why I haven't seen you in 15 years.