Wednesday, November 2, 2011

If you knew whatever you ate next would be your last meal, what would you want it to be?

This is really a torturous question to ask a chubby girl who is on a diet.
What would I eat, how about what wouldn't I eat? Just imagining the delicacies I would indulge in, the vast quantities of food, food, food, makes me salivate. Somehow the oatmeal and applesauce I scarfed for breakfast only moments ago just vanished, poof. I am left with nothing but an intense longing for the scrumptious morsels which I have parted ways with in my quest to squeeze into the jeans I bought four years ago and am still itching to actually wear.
Sure, it would be my last meal, meaning I would be about to die. You would think that would zap a person's appetite and chances are good it would in real life. But this is a hypothetical question. In other words: who cares that I am about to kick it?
According to my sister a love for Mexican cuisine runs through our veins. After all some great, great, great grandma of ours was named Guadalapita and you can't get much more authentic than that. So there, I can officially say that I come by my love of all things spicy, guacamole-y, and generally unrecognizable smothered under gooey, melted cheese, genetically. Although something tells me Pita probably didn't cook many nachos for dinner. Do Mexicans really eat nachos or are nachos our version of a "Mexican" dish? Who knows and who cares, huh? Certainly not me as I am too busy stuffing my pie hole with them. How can you go wrong with a food that delivers a medley of deliciousness to your taste buds with every crunchy bite? Nachos would play starring role in my last meal menu.
All I can say is, there better be an Olive Garden nearby. I can guarantee when I am facing my near and certain mortality that I will be requesting an order of salad with extra pepperoncini peppers- NO onions or tomatoes- and bowl after bowl of Toscana soup. Grated cheese? Yes, please! Of course we can't forget the bread sticks! I am convinced they sprinkle crack cocaine on top of those bread sticks. There is no other way to explain the seductive addiction they induce.
Finally we have come down to dessert. Baked goods are going to be shown considerable preference in my choice. To start with can I get some of those puffy sugar cookies with pink frosting? Remember now, the frosting must be pink! In a pinch yellow or baby blue would suffice. I am thinking I am going to need about two dozen. After all I am about to die, what does it matter if I go into a sugar coma first? The sugar cookies won't quite suffice, because let's face it, what last meal would be complete without chocolate? My piece de resistance will be chocolate lush. This is yet another food obsession passed down from my grandmother (no not Pita). Imagine if you will the perfection achieved by mixing homemade shortbread, chocolate pudding, cream cheese & real whipping cream.
You know what? I don't think anyone will have to bother killing me after this meal.

1 comment:

  1. Why did I think you didn't like Guacamole? Cool, glad to know you do! :-)